tips

This area is for support. Here you will find tips, tricks and other stuff to help you, your child, and/or your family. New ideas will be posted regularly. I encourage anyone with an idea to e-mail me and tell me about it so I can post it here ( you will be credited). Questions are also welcome and I will have a separate page for Question of the Month, where my readers can write in and give advice to others. Sometimes the best advice comes from those who have been there. I will post those answers on that page. The best ideas will also be posted on the tips's page.

Check out a book called "The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child" It is written by a woman who is a mother of a Bipolar Child ( Judith Lederman) and a Psychiatrist (Candida Fink). I have not read it myself yet, but I have heard very good things about it. I think that I would rather read and take advice from someone who has been there, not just a doctor that goes from the books. Sometimes what looks good on paper isn't realistic. Any book reviews on this one are welcome. I will post them on a separate page.

I have learned that sometimes I just need to talk, and when I do talk, I talk to excess most of the time. A good way to express yourself is to get an e-diary. I love mine. It gives me a reason to just type away, like I am writing a letter, or whatever. Plus it is more secure and easier to take anywhere ( if you have a lap top) than just a note book. I never was able to keep a diary before I got the one for my computer. It is a wonderful tool to use when you are tracking your moods and your cycles. And sometimes you just need to write.

I have found that one of the best ways to get a Bipolar ( or any difficult to handle child) to cooperate is to make what you want them to do ( or not do) seem beneficial. Children with COBPD can be combative and defiant to whatever you ask, no matter what their mood. With my son I have to tell him that if he does his chores he can watch TV instead of saying that he won't watch TV if he doesn't do his chores. I know that it sounds a little silly because in essence to us it is the same thing, but I have learned it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Also don't make a big production out of the whole thing. If they still continue to not do their chores, just say something about how they must not want to watch TV very matter of fact. It's not fool proof, but you may find your blood pressure drops a bit!

Quick and easy dinners are always good to have on hand if you are a Bipolar parent. Especially if you also have a Bipolar child.Sometimes you just don'tr have enough time in the day to really cook a meal, or maybe you are just having one of those days where you don't have the energy to stand at the stove. I keep frozen Pizza's, fish sticks and fries, and those one pound family dinners in the freezer for nights that I just don't feel like making anything. They are easy for you to fix, just throw them in the oven. And then there are the fend-for-yourself nights. Those nights are leftovers, soups, sandwiches, and whatever else the kids can put in the microwave or make themselves. I usually have one night a week for fend for yourself. If you have little ones these nights are not really that useful a tool but for older children it is wonderful for the days that I am just too tired, too busy, have a head ache.. whatever might keep me from cooking that night. The bad thing is that sometimes it makes for an excuse at bed time for staying up later ( but I haven't eatten yet!) so you need to makesure that they know the the kitchen is closed at a spacific time.

One thing that you might not realise is that sleep effects everyone . When it comes to Bipolars even more so. If you are a bipolar then you probably know that not getting enough sleep can trigger irritable moods. And if you are a parent of a Bipolar child you will definitely see a connection between sleep and their moods.
There are many ways to help sleep without resorting to meds. Meds should be a last resort. Try Chamomille Tea before bed, or lavender scents in the bedroom. Both are very good sleep enhancers. You can even buy special sprays for beding that help with relaxation.
Also if your bedroom is messy or very busy with decor ( bright colors, many decorations) it can also affect the way you sleep. Good bedroom decoraing ideas are low key and vey quiet. I live in a very busy household and my husband works 3rd shift, so my bedroom gets neglected and can become very cluttered. One thing you can do to help the clutter is to have a small hamper on each side of the bed. When my laundry baskets are no longer good for carrying laundry around because they have broken handles or sides, I use them for sorting things in my closet. And you can never have too much drawer space. Both my husband and I have a drawer on our dressers for "junk" along with bedside tables with drawers for things we need close to the bed, like PJ's, antacids, journals.
if all else fails, goto your physician and ask for a referal to a sleep specialist for a study to see if you need something to help you sleep, or sleep better. ( see sleep disorders for more information)

Gardening, a wonderful relaxation tool for anyone who suffers from anxiety. I try to plant very low maintenance flowers and shrubs. My favorites are oriental lillies, hostas, sweet williams and tulips for perennials. And I like cosmos and sunflowers for annuals. Cosmos are great for hiding unsitely areas as well, like bare spots and holes in siding. I also like to put them in areas that my mower can't get to easily. And if you like cut flowers, cosmos will give you plenty, plus they attract butterflies and humming birds like mad. Anyway, it helps me keep my mind off of things and it gets me out side in the sun.

I have found that we do need a lot of structure in our lives. I try to keep everything on a schedule. But if you are like me, one day that goes off the norm, will throw the whole thing out of wack for days, weeks and even months. I keep a daily log of projects I have accomplished, who I talked to ( like doctors and utilities) and even what we had for dinner. It helps me keep my mind straight. I also make sure I write down what I want to accomplish that day or things that need to get done. I am terrible with memory on many days. I still go through the foggy days where i can't think straight and I am easily distracted from sdoing what I need to do. The log helps me keep track of everything. I try not to expect too much of myself, by not getting things done that I set out to, I am setting myself up for a bout of depression. You can't expect more than you are really capable of, and if you need to get yourself out of a rut, start slow and add a little more to each day to find your limits.